How Do I Live?
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: When Elliot is sent into a coma after being shot, will the key to his survival lie within Olivia? Warning: lots of fluff and angst. Fluffy angst. Mmmm... fluffy Stabler...
1. Confessions

Chapter One: Confessions

A loud knock at her front door jarred Olivia Benson from her sleep, and she looked at her alarm clock.

"Three a.m.," she moaned as she climbed from her warm haven. Grumbling, she wrapped a robe around herself and walked out of the bedroom.

The furious knocking continued as she stormed through the living room and to the front door.

"Who's there?" she called out, suddenly wary.

"It's me Liv." The familiar, deep voice of her partner, Elliot Stabler, rang in her ears.

"Open the door, Liv. It's an emergency," he called out urgently. Quickly she unlocked the door and threw it open.

There stood her partner, soaking wet and shivering. Concern quickly replaced anger, and she ushered him inside, closing the door and relocking it.

"Elliot, what's the matter? Are you alright?" she asked.

Sighing, he replied, "No, I'm not alright."

Walking into the kitchen, she asked, "Do you want some coffee?"

"Sure," he answered distantly.

Putting the coffee on to brew, she walked back over to Elliot and touched his shoulder gently.

"You're shaking, El. Here, let's get your jacket off," she said gently, peeling his jacket off of his shoulders.

Touching his shoulder, she said, "Elliot, tell me what's wrong."

Taking a shaky breath, he asked, "Olivia, we've been partners for about seven years now, right?"

"Yeah, just about. But what does that have to do with anything?" she questioned.

He startled her by grabbing her shoulders, forcing her to stare into his stormy blue eyes. Suddenly he couldn't speak.

"Elliot, you're scaring me. You show up at my apartment at three in the morning, ask me how long we've been partners, and now you're staring at me. Something's wrong, but I can't help me if you won't talk to me," she stated, suddenly acutely aware of his large, warm hands resting on her shoulders.

"Liv, I love you," he said, touching the side of her face.

"What?" she whispered.

Stepping closer, Elliot wrapped his arms around Olivia's waist and pressed his mouth to hers.

She had always wondered how it would feel to seek refuge in his strong, protective arms, with nothing but feelings between them. But this was her _partner_. Her best friend. Her colleague. This couldn't happen.

Suddenly she pulled away from his embrace and stared at the floor. When she raised her eyes back to his, tears blurred her vision.

"Elliot," she began slowly. "I think you should go now."

"But, Olivia-" he protested.

"Please, just go. I need to think about all of this," she insisted.

She watched through tearfilled eyes as he rushed out of the apartment, all the while wondering if she made the right choice.


	2. Bad News

Chapter Two: Bad News

The precinct seemed unusually quiet, its normal chaos and activity suspiciously absent.

Walking into the squad room, Olivia noticed Fin and Munch sitting at their perspective desks, a very uncommon happening.

A feeling of dread was growing in the pit of her stomach.

Reaching her desk, she looked at Munch and Fin and asked, "What's going on, guys? Where's Elliot?"

They looked at each other, but neither of the men would answer her question.

Suddenly their boss, Captain Donald Cragen, was at her side.

"Olivia, will you come into my office?" he asked, stepping into his office.

Warily, she followed him, unsure of whether she wanted to hear what he had to say.

Shutting the door behind them, Cragen said, "Olivia, you need to sit down for this."

"What's going on, Captain? Was there a break in the case?" Olivia asked, knowing that it had nothing to do with their meeting.

"This morning," he started, "there was a shootout downtown."

Olivia listened attentively.

"I got a call a few minutes ago from a friend in Internal Affairs. Apparently, a detective ran in to stop the gunmen and save the hostages that the gunmen had taken. But SWAT showed up and opened fire. The gunmen returned fire. The detective managed to save the hostages, but he himself was caught in the crossfire."

"No," Olivia whispered.

"They found his wallet when they were putting him in the ambulance. I'm so sorry, Olivia. It was Elliot," he finished softly.

Standing up, Olivia asked, "Where is he? Where did they take him?"

Cragen gave her the name of the hospital, and she ran out of the precinct, cursing herself for letting him leave her apartment.


End file.
